For the past few days, I have been reading about c-sections online. Yesterday morning, I was tired, had an oven fire, and started freaking out about it (the c-section, not the oven fire.) Just doing a search for “c-sections” leads you to many sites by people who want to encourage you to refuse a c-section or choose a vbac for later pregnancies if you’ve already had a c-section. They are full of testimonials from women who are so upset by their “doctor’s choice” to perform a c-section, later had a vbac, and oh, what a pain-free recovery they had from that one. They list so many reasons why a vaginal delivery is preferable to a c-section. For one minute (only one) I considered that maybe I should see if the hospital here would induce me (which I’ve also been reading you should avoid at all costs, because oh, no, it could lead to a c-section) early, so that at least I would be delivering a smaller baby. Then, I thought "how is this baby going to get out of me?" Some of these sites also tell you to avoid hearing women’s horror stories about childbirth. But, it’s ok to tell everyone how horrible c-sections are?
A doctor told me at one point that women who talk most about their birth experience either had a terrible time or an incredibly easy time, but most people fall somewhere in the middle. I’ve had others tell me that childbirth can’t be that bad, or no one would do it twice. Well, I would fall in that other category. I was not/am not willing to have another vaginal delivery. Without going into details, I did not have an easy recovery from Ashlyn’s birth. She was totally worth it, but, when contemplating another pregnancy, with taking a risk for an unknown, unmade child, no. On our first doctor’s appointment, I told the doctor about my previous problems and, just as every doctor that I saw in the states told me, she also recommended a c-section, which was good, because I would have done everything possible to have a c-section. Before my appointment, I had already talked to the referral people on post about the possibilities of having this baby in the states, if the doctors here encouraged me to have a vaginal delivery. I didn’t and still don’t see that as a choice.
I believe it was about this point in my last pregnancy that I started freaking out about childbirth as well. Then, I had no experience, but, while going through our childbirth education class, I was pretty sure that none of it sounded good. Maybe this is just the point when your belly is so big that you realize that you really ARE pregnant, but can't stay this way forever. I calmed down by the end of the class, and was so miserable by the time I reached my due date, that I was ready for whatever, just “get out!”
I don’t know if this seems normal that I am stressing. Are other women as worried or even more the second time around?
I’m not sure, but I do believe that I need to GET OFF THE INTERNET. If I want to find out about c-sections, I have sisters-in-law who’ve experienced them. I have a close friend who fought to have a c-section for her second child. (Expect phone calls or emails soon!) I don’t need a glossed-over version of recoveries, but I don’t need to continue reading about how much better a vaginal delivery would be for me. If after a c-section, I decide that the vaginal delivery WAS the better option, I can pretty much guarantee that 2 children will be enough for me (of course, I’m leaning that way already.)
Disclaimer: Everyone has a different experience when having a child. I am sure that for some women a vaginal delivery is a better option.