Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Sleeeeep Stress

I am so tired... and worried.... and tired. Ashlyn has been getting up VERY early, as in it is still the middle of the night early. I tell her that it is still night-night time, and she cries, "no, eat." She is surely not that hungry that she can't make it through the night?! Other nights/mornings it has just been once, generally around 4:30 or so. 5:30 is just the earliest that I am willing to get up. Well, willing is not the word, but I do get out of bed anyway. Last night, she was up twice. The second time was just before 3! I don't know how early the first time was, Allen got up. I have no idea why she is getting up now! I have been hoping for a time when she would sleep to 7 most days, instead of 6. Doesn't she know that we are not morning people in this house? She'll be up at 4:30, coming into our room, crawling into bed with me, saying "hi, Mommy" in the cheeriest voice.


This getting up at such early hours just makes me more stressed about this new baby. First of all, I've just been more worried that something was wrong this pregnancy(worries for no good reason.) Then, a friend of mine with a new baby has been telling me about how often her child is up at night. I don't know how I am going to manage getting up at 5:30 after being up during the night with a new born. I wasn't worried about how often I would have to get up with Ashlyn, because it was just going to be the one baby. Now, a baby with a toddler? That's a different story. Thank goodness Allen isn't about to deploy this time. Agh. Sleep babies, please sleep.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does Ashylyn still take naps during the day? My sister had problems like that and when she cut out the naps, the waking up in the middle of the night stopped.
Kellie

Angie said...

Surely she isn't ready to give up naps! I hope not. She's only 2!

Anonymous said...

Two of my nieces were three when they had to give up napping (my sister and brother-in-law woke up in the middle of the night a couple of times to find their 3 year old child staring at them at the end of the bed -- creepy!).

Natalie said...

I wouldn't give up naps. I talked to Maj. Talburg about that before we left. She looked at me and said, "Mrs. McQuilton, even adults need naps. Children don't really grow out of naps." Her suggestion was to move her afternoon nap to an earlier time. Shorten it if, after a couple weeks, the night problems persist. And, worst case - push her bedtime back by a 1/2 hour. But, do not give it up. Now, we have problems getting Olivia to bed. However, she sleeps through the night and wakes up around 7:30ish with Lila. The doctor also gave us tips for getting her to bed, which have have helped immensly (but, we still have rough nights often). However, whenever Olivia is going through a mental growth spurt, as in picking up new sentances/statements and when she entered into the final stages of toilet-training, she would wake up in the middle of the night more often. So, maybe Ashlyn mind is just running a million miles a minute and she wants to be up practicing counting and talking, etc.? She can't rationalize that, of course...Don't panic. I would, however, suggest a family member(s) coming up to help after the baby is born. My parents and Matt parents saved me when Lila was up all night the first few weeks. After I would feed the baby, my mom would take over walking her around the house. My dad would get up bright and early with Olivia and play with her while I slept. Matt's mom was helpful in doing the laundry and playing with Olivia, holding the baby while, yet again, slept. I wouldn't have wanted family there when Liv was born. But, with a toddler in the house, it was a life-saver (I will do it again with the next baby). I didn't have to worry about anything and I got a lot of sleep. Even if Matt had been home, he would have had to go back to work pretty quickly. That's my advice. But, you'll figure out what works for you. It'll be okay.

Katie said...

Oh MAN. I am stressed for you! I have no suggestions and nothing to help. However, I am willing to guess this is just a bad sleep phase and it will pass. Soon she'll be sleeping all night and napping again....at least I hope so!

Will she lay in bed with you and watch TV? (Mine won't, but maybe you could luck out!)

Jamie Lynn said...

I can only say, " I feel for you!". Because with Wilson still getting up through out the night, I will not type how often because that will just depress me, Lord knows I have no suggestions.

Angie said...

Ashlyn does get in bed with me for a bit, but we don't watch tv. We only have one tv in our house.

Last night was much better. Or, sort of. She got up 2 times around 4, but then slept until 7! Heaven.

Oh, I am definitely having family here after the baby is born. I even said to Allen the first week that Ashlyn was born that we would definitely have family when the next baby was born, no matter what the circumstances.

I'm not ready to give up naps, either. Maybe earlier would help. I don't know. We'll see. Thanks for the advice.

sara said...

Max would wake up like that for awhile until we went to just 1 nap a day. He usually went down right after lunch & slept for 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Now he's started a stage where he doesn't want to take a nap at all! Yikes!

an old man with old habits said...

We're on our way! I get up at 4:30 am, I'm not as "cheery" as I use to be but I can manage a grin. When we stay overnight at Matt and Sharon's I am usually the first one up (if you don't count Sharon/Matt getting up earlier with Kamryn...!). Grandma Vicki can sleep late - but I HAVE to get up! Love, Pawpaw

Alaska Dunns said...

I kept Daniel in his crib until he was 3. When we switched he was much more able to rationalize and understand rules. The transition was so easy and he's never fought with staying in bed. Don't know if that's even an option for you. But don't worry too much. A lot will change in the next 4 months. I doubt this will last long. And, yes, the next one will probably wake up a lot during the first few months, but I found that I did almost everything a little better the second time around. Nothing like a little on-the-job-experience to make you a pro. Mikey slept better and longer earlier than Daniel, so don't stress out too much.

Good luck! Sweet dreams! :)
Holly

Natalie said...

I agree with Holly. What would we do without her?? I know you've switched to a bed already. So, putting her back in a crib won't really be an option. But, I don't think this will last long (usually, when I start to panic and think something is going to last forever, it ends a week or two after I have a freak-out session) and along the same line as Holly, you will feel so much more relaxed with the second one. Things will come very naturally and you won't be as nervous, stressed, etc.
Olivia is at a brat stage. Just today, she plucked off nearly a dozen keys on the keyboard of the computer we are borrowing while I was studying for my language class. I thought she was still quietly watching Cinderella. So, while you're thinking Ashlyn may never sleep like a normal human being, Olivia's keeping me awake because she's become a strong-willed, super-brat and I don't know where Matt and I have gone wrong b/c time-outs to her are a joke. It's either a phase in which she's testing me or Matt and I are in for 16+ years of sleepless nights wondering where we're going wrong...

christal said...

o.k - so who doesn't have a comment on sleepless bubbas! when Jackson woke at night over some weeks, (he went from sleeping right through from 7pm - 6:30 am I streached his bed time out to 8 pm. Also I found when we moved into this new place - it has taken a month to get him back to sleeping through consistently and to a decent hour. So changes in the environment, as well as developmental milestones being reached all make for a few weeks of night waking - just be sure to remain consistent and I'm sure she will be back to sleeping through. just as Jackie is - 8pm till 7 - and this morning it was 7:20! Joy wont believe this as when she visited he was up at 5am crying and wouldn't settle in his cot at all at night until I went and cuddled him or lay with him then transfered him back into the cot - now he is back to waking at 7 and playing and goes to sleep in his cot without a peep. So all of us have a few weeks here and there of night waking - don't stress too much angie - you are doing a great job. I do have to say I know nothing about day napping - as Mahind does all that - but my friend who has 5 kids under 5 (i know craziness huh!) and twins who turned two just a month ago - is training them to give up naps - and she should know a thing or two! She has them take one nap every 2nd day at the moment.

Christal - Comment for JAMIE LYNN said...

COMMENT FOR : Jamie lynn- I have kept up with your bubba through angie - and although I know you may have had much advise - I have to say I really feel sorry for many mums in the US - as you are left to struggle along without what I have - fantastic midwives, local free doctors and parenting centres left right and centre to go to at a moments notice - for anything. The most consistant thing everyone said to us was - EAT, PLAY, SLEEP. this is the pattern a child should have - and at night - change it to EAT, PLAY (BATH), EAT, SLEEP. It saved our lives - and our sanity. Mind you we have had our share of a few weeks of night waking - which I thought would ruin all the hard work we had done - but it didn't, he still has his pattern, and we can take him anywhere and he will do the same thing - eat, play, sleep. and best of all - sleep through the night - we couldn't cope if he didnt' as Brad and I both work full time. also - i think your son is TOO CUTE!!!!

Alaska Dunns said...

EAT, PLAY, SLEEP is definitely the way to go, especially since you will soon have a new one to try out all this parenting advice on. This means that you feed them when they wake up and put them down (infants) after some play time but not when they fall asleep nursing. That way they learn to self-soothe themselves to sleep. Now, my bedtime routine with Mikey (#2) always involved nursing before bed, but around 8 months he started loosing interest in that and would pull off and go to his crib awake but content. Maybe I got lucky, but he LOVES sleeping. :) The only time he fights it a little is when he is sick. Then he likes to cuddle a little more before bed.
Holly