Thankful for Real Life

With life in the military, everything is temporary. If you like a duty station or not, you won't live there more than a few years. The jobs you have, churches you attend, social life, etc.-all temporary. When things are really bad(deployments) or more short term (1 year duty stations) things have the feeling of being not quite real. As if life is on vacation, and I am waiting for my "real life to begin." I think this is kind of the way school is treated as well. When you graduate from high school, "welcome to the real world!" Except then you go to college, where again, graduation is also "the real world." Which, I get that part of the exits from high school and college is an end to reliance on your parents' support. I think I've just kind of carried this with me into the rest of my life. Most of the time I've felt like this when Allen and I have been separated. For the most part, it's a coping mechanism. Job stinks? Lonely? Just wait, when we move/are reunited/whatever things will be better.

I definitely feel this way now. We will only be here for a year, and I don't love it. I'm not crazy about living in an apartment. I'm slow to make friends, so haven't really bothered doing it because we won't live here that long. I've been telling myself that it is just until the spring, then "real life can began." Part of my problem is that I set myself up for failure. We wanted to move close to family, so I went about 5 steps too far with dreaming. I thought about having family for birthday parties and seeing grandparents for the weekend. I've been feeling sorry for myself too long, and that's silly. That isn't to be right now, and that is ok. This IS real life, even if it isn't the life that I'd imagined for myself. I am going to focus on what is great right now, instead of just getting through life and thinking about all I am missing.

One way that I'm planning to do that is to write about the many things for which I am thankful. So, to begin:

• Allen has a good job that enables me to stay home with my children for another year.
• My daughter loves her preschool, both her teachers and her friends. I am grateful to have a place to take her which she loves.
• My husband understood the importance of a good sewing machine. And, because I am home, I have time to quilt.
  
• Autumn. My son is walking through crunchy leaves. We all are wearing jackets. Pumpkin soup (and muffins and pancakes,) molasses cookies, apple pie, and pecan bars.